Deficit Thinking
We are well into nutty season, when we all get caught up in the Presidential election, so I thought maybe I should join the punditry and spew out some brilliant political wisdom.
Pundits are not required to be accurate or even to make much sense. And nobody checks later on whether their pronouncements were even close. So it seems that all one needs to do is say it loud like you mean it.
Now, I may not be qualified to pontificate about some of the more complicated issues being bandied about, such as childless cat ladies, crowd sizes, or various states of weird.
I thought I would instead tackle something simple, like the United States federal deficit.
The nation’s debt is apparently a very scary thing, at least based on the regular articles in the media with titles such as “Will Debt Sink the American Empire?” , “Yes, You Moron, Debt Will Sink the American Empire”, and “Should I Accessorize to Accentuate the Deficit?”
Historian Niall Ferguson expounds a theory that “Any great power that spends more on debt service (interest payments on the national debt) than on defense will not stay great for very long,” and he points to various bygone empires such as the Habsburgs (long gone), the Ottomans (long gone but who made a nice settee) and the British (here, sort of, and love the accents).
The Congressional Budget Office projects that all this debt will crowd out other investments, reduce U.S. income growth by 12% over the next three decades, and be a burden on future generations.
According to the U.S. debt clock billboard in New York City it looks like we are north of $35 Trillion.
Ha, ha, that’s not that much … wait, what??!!
Politicians understand that the national debt is a crucial and existential issue that must be immediately addressed, but only when the other party is in power.
Nevertheless, as a conscientious citizen who cannot practice deficit spending on a personal basis (my credit card balance notwithstanding), I selflessly offer up my economic experience to my country with the following suggestions.
After all, I have on occasion balanced my checkbook and at one point in my life managed (just barely) to pass my Accounting for Lawyers course, so clearly I am as qualified as anyone.
Uncle Sam should Airbnb any unused space. For example, the Capitol Rotunda would be a great place for weddings or Bar Mitzvahs. In fact, all of the congressional offices can be rented out since not much gets done there anyway. For the most part, representatives and Senators only need the steps of the Capitol to post press conferences on social media.
Americans hate to be told what to do, whether it is wearing masks or getting vaccines. But everyone steps up when you crowdfund. Save our forests. Save our house. Pay off the deficit. We can start a GoFundMe page, complete with a cute picture of the President looking all worried. Our citizens would chip right in.
If necessary, I can always raise a little money with a yard sale of unused household items. Like many New Yorkers, I have lived in the NYC area most of my life and have never been to the Statue of Liberty (passing by on the Staten Island Ferry does not count). I bet with a good cleaning and a new paint job we could get a good price for Lady Liberty. What about Air Force One? Who wouldn’t want that baby in their garage. We can get the President a more economical prop plane with a big American flag on it. And, at the risk of being politically incorrect, why not sell an entire state? Hawaii and Alaska are so far, Texas wants to secede anyway, and it would be a lot quieter without all of us New Yawkers. Each state is one of only 50 so is something of a limited edition collectors item.
We can run up those credit card bills and worry about it later. Always sound financial advice. The U.S. government should get an American Express black card. Supposedly, this is an AMEX card with no spending limits, claimed by Jerry Seinfeld on an episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, to have been created especially for him. Apparently, a cameraman said he heard that such a thing existed and that there were only three cards, one held by the Sultan of Brunei, one held by the President of American Express and one held by Jerry. Jerry had no such card but called up the President of American Express the next day who thought it was a good idea and gave Jerry the first one. Although the cards have no spending limit, they do limit purchases based on a rolling assessment of credit worthiness, so this may not work for the U.S.
Uncle Sam could borrow money from his parents. I realize that we are a country so do not have any real parents, but England is sort of like our parent. We asserted our independence and left home somewhat awkwardly years ago, but over the years we have developed a familial “special relationship”. England could agree to pay down some of our deficit now, and we could agree to help out and visit England when it gets really old.
Why can’t we just print more money? Isn’t that the great thing about being a country with your own currency? I cannot print more money to pay my mortgage but the U.S. can print all the dollars that it likes. What could possibly go wrong? Sure, you get inflation, then hyper inflation (that is inflation with A.D.D.) and the money eventually becomes worthless. But think of all that debt we could pay off.
I suppose the obvious answer might be to cut back on spending or raise taxes. Of course, none of us want the government to go down that road.
One last idea. Maybe, just like those advertisements for individuals to consolidate their debt, the U.S. could go out and get a new loan. Okay, we got into this predicament by borrowing money we cannot pay back, but we can use the new loan to pay off the old loans and who would complain?
Oddly, sounds just like what we have been doing.
Also sounds a little bit similar to a Ponzi scheme. Hmmm.