Is Never Good For You?

One of my favorite New Yorker cartoons has a businessperson speaking on the telephone while looking at his calendar saying “No, Thursday’s out. How about never - - is never good for you?

I sometimes responded to pushy opposing attorneys pressing me for comments with an email of that cartoon. Yes, I know how to make friends.

Today, it seems that “is never good for you?” is the response of many office workers to the request to come back to the office after two and half plus years of COVID.

I have no idea what office life is going to look like going forward, but am sure that it will be an ever changing bit of crazy.

Media coverage is all over the map. One day there are reports about tougher talk from Elon Musk, Goldman Sachs and other employers requiring employees back five days a week as the economy tightens and leverage shifts, and that after this summer they mean business and will hold their breath and not eat their vegetables until all employees return.

Of course, the next day there are other reports that employees have seen the possibility of a different way and even with COVID somewhat in the rear view mirror do not want to commute, find child care, pay high gas prices or actually do any work at all and will rebel against any forced attendance.

Some employers are even bribing their workers with fine grub to lure people back. Pizza is no longer going to cut it so instead employers have to ante up with a shredded beef burrito bowl or bahn mi (what the heck is bahn mi?).

I am all in favor of bribery and will work if someone pays me to do it (wait, isn’t that how it already works?), but employees now realize that they can get their work done at home or while Zooming in with their toes in the sand.

Joke is on them since they miss out on an hour and a half commute on a crowded train sitting between one person with a new strain of COVID and someone else on their cellphone loudly reviewing the latest episode of The Bachelor.

Okay, there is nothing I miss about my commute, but perhaps because of my old and decrepit retired status I understand the sentiment that something is lost without office culture (Serena Williams said she is “evolving” rather than retiring, but I may be more decomposing).

I can only speak to law office culture (there’s an oxymoron), but there is value even beyond the nuts and bolts of “lawyering.” An old mentor used to say you are not a lawyer until you have your first client and much can be learned about landing and keeping clients just by watching older colleagues.

I also value the office friendships made in those early years, many of whom became mentors, partners or clients and remain friends today.

But mention these notions to my three twenty-something sons (all of whom started new jobs during COVID), and you will get that dismissive head shake-eye roll combination that says clearer than any words that this is old and decrepit thinking by an old and decrepit guy.

My sons vary on how often they are willing to go into an office from not on your life to two or three times a week, but none are willing to go in every day and none are prepared to be forced to do so.

They are not alone since recent surveys have found that two-thirds of those working remotely do not want to return to the office and 71% of 18-24 year olds would consider looking for another job if forced to return to the office full-time.

In fact, one of my sons, the one with the extremely limited judgment to become a lawyer, told me of a rival law firm that required daily attendance and shortly had numerous associate attorneys poached by other law firms.

Many businesses will conclude that they no longer need quite as much space. Some clients with expiring leases have told me that they approached their landlords about a short extension for reduced rent and/or reduced space until things shake out, but under the category of stupid landlord pet tricks, in each case the landlords came back with offers for all of the space at a higher rent.

Ownership cannot take all of the blame though since many mortgage loan leasing covenants tie their hands.

All in all, there is a potential real estate tsunami on the horizon.

The national average office occupancy rate is around 43%, but there are differences among different regions. Office occupancy rates in smaller and mid-sized cities are much higher than in larger metropolitan areas with longer commutes and rising crime rates.

But there is more going on here than people hating their commutes. The discussion is really about work itself and today’s tumult is an opportunity to improve how we work.

I am not quite ready to give up on the office at least part of the time (easy to say as a retired guy who has no office) and would want to interact on some days with other real live persons (assuming one can count attorneys as real live persons). But the office needs to be re-thought and revised.

I always cringe when senior management tells employees “we are a family” (Cain and Abel were family too), but work culture is often as important as salary in determining turnover. COVID has shown that work can be done and workers can remain committed from anywhere, so the office experience needs to be about more than showing up together if employers expect employees to return.

Younger workers do not view offices in the same blissful light as their older colleagues and businesses should focus (with input from actual workers) on the mentoring, collaboration and social bonding that can make going into the office worthwhile and the collective product better.

In my view, everyday attendance should not be a requirement. Carrots work better than sticks (although burrito bowls work better than carrots) and bullying by forcing attendance or penalizing with “Zoom ceilings” could really backfire.

Hybrid work is the hardest configuration to properly implement but it can be done. The largest part of my success as a lawyer in a smaller firm was that my group consisted of smart and talented attorneys, often with large firm experience, many of whom were women trying to balance work with family (why women should do so much of the balancing is a whole separate topic). Large firms could not or would not accommodate less traditional schedules which often included remote work and my firm benefitted enormously by doing so.

Office energy, community, banter and even bahn mi can bring people in on some days and flexibility can be a recruiting tool.

I have an attorney friend who tells his group that he will be in the office certain days and, while not a requirement, all are welcome to join him and many do.

Smart firms will be creative in terms of social gatherings, networking events and educational opportunities (lawyers will undergo root canal for free CLE credits).

I have sat through enough client management meetings to know that open-space floor plans were created to save money with reduced square footage, not for the stated “collaborative environment”, but much can even be done with office design to create attractive work environments and efficient flexible arrangements.

There is another New Yorker cartoon where an office worker is tangled in a web in his cubicle; a prisoner with his office chair as the spider. People work just as hard today as “back in the day,” but it can benefit us all for workers to free up a bit from the workplace web and have the flexibility to get some of their work done outside the office (after walking the dog).