The Great Retirement

Welcome to the first issue of Making Good Time

, my new newsletter or blog (What’s the difference? Dunno.)

For those of you who were subscribers to my Leasing Illustrated newsletter, well, I warned you that I might one day darken your email doorstep again.  As you may recall, I retired from practicing law at the end of 2021. Leasing Illustrated was written for commercial tenants to help navigate the world of commercial leasing in a way that was not too legal and hopefully a little entertaining.  Easy, since commercial leasing is a topic custom made to generate entertainment and humor.   

Now, I have started Katz Tales to continue writing. Why? I suppose it is that I have my inner monologue rolling around in my head and it needs to get out (no telling the damage it could do in there). I expect to provide terrifyingly insightful cultural observations and oddball news items, plus random thoughts on retirement, law and real estate. Basically, Leasing Illustrated without the leasing. I read somewhere that when asked why he writes, the poet John Ashberry answered “Because I want to.” That sounds about right. I do not know how often I will publish - - hey, don’t pressure me, I’m retired! But it is abundantly clear that what the world needs today is another blog.

If you read Leasing Illustrated primarily looking for pearls of commercial leasing wisdom (really?), then maybe this newsletter will not be for you and feel free to delete, unsubscribe and insist to all that you meet that you never had any connection whatsoever with me. If you read Leasing Illustrated for whatever nonsense I used to catch your attention before droning on with pearls of commercial leasing wisdom, then maybe we are on to something (although still feel free to insist to all that you meet that you never had any connection whatsoever with me).

Who knew retirement could be so complicated?!  It clearly is not for the faint of heart. After all, Tom Brady, he of G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) fame, lasted only six weeks into his retirement before he came skulking back, tail between his legs.

You work at something for (in my case) 37 years and just when you are finally kinda, sorta, competent at it, mortality starts to peek at you over every lease provision. You and your contemporaries start to say things like “if not now, when?”, “enjoy it while you can” and “where the heck did I put my glasses?”. Notwithstanding the clients you have developed, the relationships you have made and the free sandwich credits you have accumulated at the takeout place downstairs, you just know that it is time to move on.

RETIREMENT LOG DAY 1: What the heck did I do and what do I do now? Gulp!

It turns out that I am a trendsetter in ways other than my dad jeans and ipod mini as it appears that my retirement was part of the “Great Resignation” of workers during COVID. A recent Washington Post article states that according to Goldman Sachs over half of the people who left the workforce during the Great Resignation were over 55, making the Great Resignation more of a “Great Retirement.”  Apparently, by staying in the workforce Baby Boomers were compensating for reduced immigration and dropping birthrates and their sudden departure could cause inflation as employers battle for scarce labor.  After providing the world with innovations such as tie dye, rampant consumerism and existential globe-ending climate change, Boomers can now add worker shortages and inflation to the list (we just keep on giving).

It is kind of ironic that after devouring the planet for sixty plus years and annoying youngens by refusing to get out of the way, we Boomers may now be getting out of the way too quickly. Not all of us. I did my part and graciously (okay, with much self-involved whining and anxiety) freed things up for the next generation. But there are plenty of lawyers who are happily writing incomprehensible contracts and studiously evicting people from their businesses and homes long past customary retirement age.  The same is true for many other hard-working Boomers.  My professor brother David claims that professors seldom retire.  And why not when well into their golden years they can enjoy a captive audience pretending to laugh at their jokes for better grades. In Congress, you NEVER have to retire, even if you get a little senile.  Senator Diane Feinstein of California, eighty-eight years old, has been accused of losing a few steps by her younger colleagues (i.e., those in their early eighties) but she intends to keep going.  She just has forgotten where it is that she is going.  Frankly, might we be better off with the senile ones anyway?

RETIREMENT LOG DAY 10: It is amazing how many things you can make with Q-tips.

But wait, what? I am confused. According to the Wall Street Journal, many early retirees are coming back into the workforce due to employer demand and newfound workplace flexibility.  Some need to strengthen their finances as inflation looms while others are bored and happy to take advantage of remote work possibilities. The New York Times jumped on that bandwagon, claiming that retirement is “not an irreversible decision” (unlike practicing law) and that many early retirees in their late 50’s and early 60’s have unretired.  Is it therefore correct to say that Boomers are saving the nation, building the workforce and taming inflation?  Or is it just that, being consistent with our generation’s past practices, we cannot make up our minds and are expecting to have it both ways even in retirement?

One of the hardest things about retiring is telling people that you are retiring.  That is because you actually are old enough to retire (unless you are a professional athlete or someone we all truly hate who did well enough to retire young). Nicer, more discrete people upon being told about your impending life change lie and say “But, you are too young to retire!”  Unfortunately, most do not even bat an eyelash and assume that you certainly ARE long past your sell by date. 

But by far the worst part of being retired is explaining how you spend your time.  People ask “What are you actually DOING?”  As if I am sitting home watching soaps or You Tube videos all day (Yeah, so?).  Hey, this is not easy!  Ask Mr. G.O.A.T. who could not hack it after only six weeks!  People seem to expect that I should be doing something valuable for humanity.  I was a lawyer for thirty-seven years and now there is one less lawyer.  Isn’t that enough?! 

RETIREMENT LOG DAY 30: How odd, but if you stare at the oak tree in the side yard long enough, it starts to do a moon walk.

People assume it is reasonable to ask me about my budding second career, my fulfilling and Earth changing volunteer work or whether I intend to delve further into one of my many areas of interest with a PhD.  

I could say that I am doing a little writing but that really sounds pretentious and cliché .  It is exponentially lamer since how could anyone who subscribed to Leasing Illustrated possibly believe it is true.  It is of a similar genre as the politician or corporate bigwig caught in some extremely embarrassing indiscretion all of a sudden claiming that he or she is stepping down to spend more time with his or her family.

But let me clue you in on a little secret.  Much like a senior law firm partner, I am doing absolutely nothing!  And that is true of most of us retired ladies and gents. 

We may tell you about the company we are starting, but there is no company.  Or we may prattle on about our charity work, but there is no charity work.  We just say that to throw you off the trail.  We wake up and do not have to DO anything in particular that day. 

I am paraphrasing, but I believe Aristotle said something along the lines of “nature abhors vacuuming” (and nature is not too crazy about washing dishes either).  His point being that unfilled spaces violate the laws of physics and every space needs to be filled with something (that may explain the content of this newsletter).  There is even a business corollary called Parkinson’s Law. Basically, this law posits that work will expand to fill the time available for completion.  Retirement follows the same principle in that whether you have thousands of work-related tasks or nothing in particular that needs to get done, the laws of nature will fill your time equally well.

Retirement is a regular topic of conversation these days when I get together with friends of my vintage.  “So, you really retired?” “When should I retire?”  “I don’t know what I will do when I retire.” “Will retirement make me look fat?”  Inevitably, someone will wonder “When did we get so old?  How did that happen so fast?”  Well, it happened when we were just not paying attention.  And maybe paying attention is the whole point.  So, I intend to plow along paying a great deal of attention and it would be great if you could join me with this newsletter. 

Sorry, but now I need to run.  I started a company to cure cancer and there is just so much that I need to do …

Some housekeeping…

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You can always see everything I have written on my new website. And, if you miss Leasing Illustrated (who can blame you?), the issues from all ten years are also now archived on the website.

Thanks again, and please tell a few friends if you feel like it.